If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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