loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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