i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
