I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Someone signed my nipple.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
