So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had sex on a dog bed..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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