Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
