there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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