i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
