But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
