i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
