Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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