Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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