he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
