google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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