I can tuck mytits in my pants
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
