if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
