Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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