hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
