Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
