i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
