I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my poor anus
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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