zippers are such a cool invention
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This baby is an asshole
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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