And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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