no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize