We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
