it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
