Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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