I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
