I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
