I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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