Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
