The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
