I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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