He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
