Duck Duck Cougar?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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