She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
