he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
