All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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