On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
