I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
