..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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