This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
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The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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