just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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