So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
