Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize