I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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