Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
