it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
