Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize