super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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