my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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