Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
