New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
