to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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