remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
