With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
