please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
