I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
