Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
