You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
