I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
