I molested 6 butterflies tonight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
