i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
