I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize